I’m troubled today.
Who are you? Who is God? Who is He to you?
If, when you ponder these questions, your responses center around your “pious” acts: serving on the usher board, singing on 3 praise teams and 2 choirs at your church, living humbly, saying grace before your meals, living a pure life, quoting scripture, you may be suffering from an identity crisis. You, my friend, have failed to truly recognize who you are in God.
When I had my son I suffered from this same affliction. All I did was mother, on the surface there’s nothing wrong with that unless God is calling me to do other things in addition to, and I’m ignoring the call. My seemingly righteous act simply became a form of disobedience. I tossed to the side so many other instructions God had given me, writing being one of them.
What if Joseph had decided that prison was where he would remain. Why not? He was doing the work of the Lord. Interpreting dreams, prophesying to prisoners. He could have done that the rest of His life, right? But he didn’t because He was just passing through prison on his way to where God was truly calling him, Pharoah’s kingdom (Genesis 40; 41). Dream intepretation is something he did as a result of who he was and as a result of his purpose, not the other way around. If he had stayed in prison would God have been pleased with Him in light of His plan?
The truth is I had lost sight of my purpose and calling during the time period. I was beat down by everything I had experienced that I couldn’t stomach any form of failure moving forward would possibly present.
Don’t package your fear of failure, your lack of self esteem as a form of piety. Don’t use it as an excuse to not achieve what God has for you. He never planned for you to remain in the wilderness, but only to take that route on the way to the promised land. He gets glory out of your obedience, not your acts of self determined righteousness.