From whose vantage point do you view yourself and your life?
I was skimming my followed sites, and I stopped at a post at Beauty Beyond Bones, a fabulous blog about a young woman’s journey of deliverance from anorexia. She wrote about the same thing I had been reflecting on in deepening the wound. We focus too much on other people’s approval, validation, and acceptance.
I would really like to just stay stahp it!
I’ve been putting all my effort in as a mother, that was my intention when I got pregnant, but at some point I adopted someone else’s vantage point. The problem with viewing myself through someone else’s lense is that I lose track of where I’m going, my purpose, and, ultimately, myself. I wasn’t just trying to be a great mother, but I wanted people to validate my mothering. Tell me I’m doing a great job!
What if God is leading you to do something that no one would understand? What if part of the test is doing it in spite of the lack of support you have?
This is a concept I experienced firsthand. While I was pregnant with my son, I felt a strong urge from God telling me not to vaccinate. I refused the Tdap vaccine while pregnant and before leaving the NICU, the hep B vaccine for my son. Later, two weeks before his fractured leg, I gave into the pressure and allowed them to administer the hepatitis B vaccine. While he was in the hospital for the fracture, they found that he has a genetic mutation in a gene involved in collagen production, no actual diagnosis. I strongly believe it was a vaccine reaction. I strongly believe God knew that this genetic difference would cause an adverse reaction to vaccines.
From their vantage point, vaccines are the answer to disease caused by viruses and bacteria and that is the perspective by which I made my decision to vaccinate. But God was telling me that He is my sons protection and He needs no assistance.
I’m still challenged by doctors to vaccinate and I have learned to stand my ground. My son has remained fracture free ever since.
The effects of people pleasing and validation seeking may not always be as severe as my circumstances, but they can also be worst.