Writer’s Block

  
I once had writer’s block.

I feared what my pen might reveal.

Not what others would uncover, but that which I had hidden that would reveal itself to me.

To write would require an honesty with myself and God. The truth that somewhere deep within me I was still hurting from the false accusations of strangers

I had buried it so deep its existence was unknown even to my own consciousness.

But in darkness God met me and dealt with my fear, my disappointment, my apathy.

The darkness forced me into a state of desperation. That desperation prepared my heart to allow God into the broken places. He will heal you, if only he’s allowed access. We are taught that desperation is a sign of weakness, but to God, it’s a sign of surrender. And even if it is weak, God loves the opportunity to be strong on your behalf.

If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. Psalms 139:8-13 NKJV‬‬

Advertisements

24 Comments Add yours

  1. vshakvamantz says:

    You seem to have made a complete recovery, hon Hope your day is going well!

    Like

    1. ReignofFaith says:

      It was just recently that I feel I fully recovered. Probably as I was writing this I finally allowed full healing to take place. Thanks for the read!

      Like

      1. vshakvamantz says:

        Reign, do you feel healing is a process of allowing it in? And if you do, how do you figure?

        Like

      2. ReignofFaith says:

        From my perspective, I do. I’m not saying everyone does or should have my same vantage point and therefore, opinion on it.

        I had really compartmentalized a lot of my hurt because we are taught that to feel is to be weak. So I pushed whatever feelings I would have had back so I could move forward and continue mothering and living effectively. It wasn’t until I admitted that I was still hurting and was honest with God about my feelings regarding the situation and Him that I was able to allow Him into that pain in order to heal me from the inside out.

        Jesus BECAME healing on Calvary so in order for me to be healed I had to allow him entry into every part of me, even the part I was hiding from and ignoring. I felt like I had developed PTSD because I hadn’t dealt with all the things I had experienced.

        Hope that makes sense to you? I tried to make my explanation concise.

        Like

      3. vshakvamantz says:

        Long and detailed is my langue, lol I understand. Sorta like letting him in to fix that run in the carpet when the drapes of isolation could use a shake too but I’m like “I DON’T NEED HELP WITH THOSE!” Perfect idea Great scary news, I got counseling from my pastor

        Like

      4. ReignofFaith says:

        I saw your comment on the post about it. His/her suggestion is exactly what I would have recommended.

        Like

      5. vshakvamantz says:

        I am so scared, hon.

        Like

      6. ReignofFaith says:

        I think it’s natural to have some fear towards change but once you get to the point that you’re sure you can’t stay where you are, it gets easier.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. vshakvamantz says:

        And you must be in my head! God is amazing! You’re an amazing disciple, girl!

        Like

      8. vshakvamantz says:

        Professional help? I’m honestly nervous about my kids and how they’ll be affected by it.

        Like

  2. ReignofFaith says:

    The moving out portion

    Like

  3. Sarga says:

    Hope you are ok now 🙂 Continue writing.You are really good 🙂

    Like

    1. ReignofFaith says:

      I’m doing well now just trying to find my voice. Thank you so much that’s so nice.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sarga says:

        Glad to hear that 🙂

        Like

      2. ReignofFaith says:

        Thanks again for commenting! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Sarga says:

        You are welcome.I’l continue my visits 😉

        Like

      4. Sarga says:

        you already do 🙂 Thank you so much for all your likes and comments.It was great source of encouragement for someone like me who started blogging quiet recently 🙂

        Like

      5. ReignofFaith says:

        It’s my pleasure I like your writing!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Sarga says:

        Thank you so much 🙂 btw where are u blogging from? I m from India

        Like

      7. ReignofFaith says:

        I’m in the states. I didn’t realize you were in India. Crazy how much of a reach the Internet gives you.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Sarga says:

        Haha yes. Even I m surprised at the no of bloggers I have met so far .. Ppl from Kenya, London, Nigeria, France..!it is really an experience 😀

        Like

      9. ReignofFaith says:

        Most definitely!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s